And so it begins...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
It's been about 5 years since I did the whole blogging thing and that was way back when Jeremy and I were just dating. For some reason I had a lot of crazy things to talk about back then. But since we got married I found that there was almost no time at all to start it up again.

Now that we are moving toward very unfamiliar territory, I have decided to pick it back up again. I have wonderful friends who inspire me daily through their blogs and provide me with encouragement... even without them knowing it. It could be something as simple as, telling a story about trying to find a house or their journey down the road of adoption. And somehow I am able to connect with them in a very real way. They've given me wisdom through their trials and triumphs.

As I sit down to begin this new journey into blogging, I decided to look up blogger to see if I would like their site. And to my surprise, years ago, I had already set up an account and created a blog. I never wrote anything on it, but I had gone to the trouble of getting a background, perfecting the settings and even naming it.

As I examined the title... Freedom in Trust. I had to take a moment to decide if I still liked it. At first I felt like it wasn't melodic enough or catchy. I wanted something so profound that my fake readers would be like... wow that is so deep, or hey what a beautiful way to put that. So I toyed with a few other phrases like A Comedy of Errors or The Path Unknown, but nothing was sticking. So I re-visited this idea of Freedom in Trust. And I was reminded of that one simple things that God requests of us. Trust. We forget it all the time and I have to remind myself daily... or after the week of freaking out has gone by, I regretfully remember... Oh ya. Trust.

I strongly dislike how simple it is and how easy it is to fall into those same habits of trying to control everything all the time. Especially with what I do, it's so easy to get wrapped up in it all and suddenly be so beat down, tired and hopeless that I'm ready to give up on the world. But God brings little reminders to me and urges me to keep trusting in him. So along with trust comes letting go. When I find that I can let go AND trust God, there is a freedom.

With everything that is ahead for Jeremy and I, I can't think of anything I'd rather do then let go and trust in God. I want to be able to enjoy all these new milestones that he and I are going to go through together. I don't want to keep trying to "orchestrate" the perfect moments but rather let them happen organically. I find there is no greater freedom then trusting in God.

I'm sure I will have plenty of "blogs" that will contradict this statement and I'll fall back into "WHAT IS GOING ON" land. But for now, I'm excited to push forward and see where this leads me.